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It's been a while I scribbled something. I thought to share a few point off a project I am currently working on "THE REAL LIFE KIT". Indulge me,in another three minutes you will be done reading this.

Here goes my ramblings....

A step out of the ordinary is becoming quite the usual, everybody wants to be the lion, we want to exert so much control that we have become propagators of the message “I alone matter”. We have become champions at being selfish and we are darn good at it and as much as we do not want to accept it, we are taking steps towards the ordinary.

Until Lambs become Lions, it’s ironic, right? But let us allow our minds wonder for a little. What happens when a Sheep roars? What happens when a Lion bleats? Exactly my thoughts, it is not possible but can we dare to believe until Lambs become Lions. The position of the writer rests on the simple word “BECOME”.

I take a stance that we are capable of a lot of things but our greatest ability is the “ABILITY TO LEARN”. Our Lambs become lions when we take a deliberate effort to sharpen our skill set, you don’t grow by happen-stance, no, and you must deliberately take control of your life at every point. Before you look for a platform to promote your talent, build capacity.

If Lambs would become Lions then we must look for opportunities, Newsflash: Opportunities have stopped knocking on doors, you look for them. And that means you must be deliberate and prepared. Chances are, you are part of the religion but see prayer doesn't take the place of preparation. Prayer is a spiritual exercise; work is a deliberate effort at getting the desired result.

Until Lambs become Lions, we must take a stand to be in charge of our lives, to choose our path, to walk in spiritual awareness and moral integrity. Until Lambs become Lions, we must teach our mind the act of elimination to create focus, we must become active in leading our world and not waiting for things to just happen.

I am on a quest until lambs become lions.

It is been a while I dropped something here, *whew* it is been a very busy and hectic period but hey, I got around to sharing something i wrote a while ago, I do hope You enjoy reading it..               

It was father's day yesterday and we sent out messages to the men who we consider to be fathers in our lives and I also celebrated my mentor and friend but rarely does a discussion get me excited as much as this one did. I decided to share with you, the content of my “BBM” chat with a friend of mine. 

My very question was “How do you describe a father, a husband and a man” and below is her response.

Man – A man is someone who has realized that he is not self-sufficient. By this he recognizes he is capable of mistakes and isn't ashamed to admit that he is not perfect. Most times, males tend to have superiority complex thinking which makes them believe that they are all in all. Anybody in this stage is still a boy. What you have doesn't make you a man; it is what you are willing to learn that makes you a man.

               

Husband – A husband is someone who sees the purposeful emptiness in him and has a need to find the woman who will fill the void. He doesn't want her to, he needs her to. When he wants her to, he is a boyfriend. He is not a husband until he needs her to complete him.

The HUSBAND

Father – A father is like a shepherd, who is never willing to sell his sheep. He will feed them, clothe them, love them, teach them, name them and jealously guard them and look out for them if lost. The father is more than a shepherd because he shares life with his children. A father’s effort only starts where a shepherd stops.

The FATHER

                

These three individuals are different species from a male, beard, six packs or pot belle doesn't make you any of these. To successfully become a true embodiment of species, the male needs God, he needs humility; he needs an open heart and needs to learn how to love despite and in spite of. The day this three meet in the male and exist side by side then the male can say he has triumphed.

And my thoughts:

My heart skipped beats when I read this message from her and I wished and prayed that every male would come to the realization of this truth. It’s not just about the multiple things that we possess, but much more than our acquisitions, can we become the men that God has created us to be without losing sight of our priorities. 

We must steadily create a home for the ladies in our life and grow from being boys to great men that we can be and be examples for our children to see and models for them to follow. Men must come to understand that as they love the women in their life that these women would naturally submit to them. 

Men must not see themselves as missionaries instead we must realize that the aim of marriage and relationships is not conformity but understanding. We don’t try to change the woman and stifle her spirit instead we are to nurture. understand her and gently compliment her in every way and every how that we can and lead her to grow. 

You are the head because you are strong, she is the neck because she can support you and she was taken from your side so you can cover and protect her as you walk side by side and fulfill the reason why you are called one. The world needs its men to take their place and become all that God has made them to be.

I am torn between doing right and being wrong and Yes I know there is a war going on in my mind but I want real answers to my struggles, I am tired of acting like I have it all together. Every day I hear the same thing, Be positive, Don’t quit, Stay in the fight, Good things will always happen, and this is “There is a reason for everything, Yet nobody seem to know the reason” and when I show my fear, I am called weak and the people who tell me to be strong make me believe that being afraid is a sign of weakness and I stay conflicted in my mind and to make everyone believe that I have it all together I wear a smile when what I want to do is scream.

Hey You, Tell me about you struggles, Show me your "pain", take off the Band-Aid, show me your scars, take off your mask and stop being strong... speak beyond the words, I want to hear your silence. Your scars are a reflection of where you have been, marks of the wars fought in the recluse of your mind, a sign of your strength and a story of your survival. Your fears are genuine, we are all afraid of something, do not let them mock you or make you feel small because you show fear, sometimes the only thing that keeps you going is your fear.  The survival instinct is ignited by fear and sustained by fear. You are not alone in this battle; we are all conflicted in our minds.

Every day we fight for survival but the real reason we fight is because we are afraid of something; Your fears might be defined, You might call it a Career, Education, Relationship, Failure or Disappointment or whatever you feel comfortable calling it but the fact remains, we are all afraid and that is the battle of the conflicted mind, until we face our fears and find a greater purpose we would cringe at the mere thought of these fears becoming a reality. (THE CONFLICT)

The reason you cannot leave that job that is draining life out of you is not because you love it; It is because you are afraid, afraid of the unknown and afraid of uncertainty, The reason you stay in the toxic relationship is because you are scared of being alone so instead of being alone,you settle for a bad ship. Loneliness is a mind thing, having people around you is not how to solve the puzzle. You stay in College or University and you study a course you have no flare for all in the name of duty and being afraid of disappointing your family, So you rather choose to live depressed than face your fears, You are conflicted.

The beauty of the conflicted mind is that the war will never end but the choice of who wins is constantlyup to YOU, You must not live your life with the desire to impress, Life is not a game of impressions, Life is about finding true expressions and that is how we make impact. You are the captain of the ship, the commander of your army, YOU must choose to fight for your mind, name your fears only then can you conquer it.

Finally, something I read a while back,: A grandfather told his grandson: Inside You there are two wolves fighting, One is calm, strong, determined and Generous and The other is hateful, Vengeful and destructive but only one will survive at every given time, and the little boy asked his grand dad, Which of the wolves will win and the old man looked at the son in his wisdom and said “The one You feed”

Everyone is King when they find their place – URUEMURIE Ewoma Frank

The issue is not about fitting in; the real deal is knowing what you are capable of doing. Truth is you can fit into a crowd and still find relevance. Everywhere you go, you hear peoples say “You are born to stand out” yet you are faced with the obvious reality that a lot of people are wired to do what you are designed to do. Truth again, No two human beings have the same DNA but a million share the same gifting/talent/skill, we are all different I know but who then crowns the King.

The nature of life is not entirely hinged on standing out, as much as I believe that we are all special, I also believe that sometimes we find relevance when we know how, when and where to fit in. Fitting in does not mean sticking to the status quo, it does not mean following the crowd, to fit in is finding your place in the puzzle and making the picture complete and that is what it means to know that you are special.

Everything and everyone has its place: A fish cannot be judged by its ability to climb a tree, a monkey cannot be judged by its ability to bark, a Dog cannot be judged by its ability to roar and a Lion cannot be judged by its ability to breathe under water, because everyone is King when they find their place.

Finding your place and knowing your placement is ultimately the key to survival and truth about this awareness is that the desire for approval from others seizes because instead of seeking approval from people, you come into the awareness that you have within you, the ability and potential strong and powerful enough to decide the course of your life and future. The force within you is more powerful than the forces around you and Yes! you possess in you the ability to control the force around you. Always focus on what You can control.

The Cheetah is the fastest animal on ground but it will not race a fish in the ocean, it will lose. The truth of life is same everywhere, everyone and everything has its place and to thrive, to soar, to rule and to dominate, you must find where you fit in. And fitting in includes knowing who you need and who needs you. The course of our life is determined by the placement of many people. You are not designed to thrive in a vacuum, whether you believe in a higher power or not, whether you believe in fate, destiny or deciding the course of your life by yourself, you know this one fact, you cannot succeed in a vacuum, you must find your place and finding your place includes learning to follow before you lead.

Our life is lived from a place of awareness. If all you do is try to prove someone wrong, you would spend your days running round in circles, Life requires doubters, haters, dis-tractors, friends, foes and You but the greatest determinant of what your life can and would become is YOU, but you need these group of people to spur you on and help you find your place. Be deliberate, Be intentional and rule your kingdom. Life is no competition, Life is not a quest for approval,it is not called our life, It is called YOUR LIFE, live with awareness.

The problem is not the changing conditions, it is your filter.  – URUEMURIE Ewoma Frank

I am just like you on a normal day, full of questions, concerns and worries, sometimes I am literally lost in my own space and truth is sometimes I get scared and in my moment of fear I start to wish that the conditions of my life was different, that Life was a bit more predictable and I could see into the future just maybe I can then literally predict and control people’s thoughts and actions. Alas, that’s me on a normal day

Truth be told, every once in a while we allow our secret fears cloud our mind and we begin to create a false reality of who we are and where we want to be but I have come to realize that the problem is not the changing conditions, it’s not the people around us and their actions, the problem is our filter. If there is a fundamental issue of self-awareness no matter where you find yourself, you will struggle to fit in and you will continue to wish for better conditions.

Every Power generating set has a filter in its fuel tank and the essence of the filter is to prevent external objects like sand and stones from entering into the carburetor but the problem with the filter is it cannot discern water from fuel so when water is mixed with fuel and put into the Generator it allows both to flow through into the carburetor and the generator stops working, So the problem with the generator is not the condition but its filter.

Our mind is like the power generating center of our lives and it is our responsibility to determine what we allow to flow through. The strength of our mind filter would invariably affect the conditions of our life and our perception of reality. The filter of our mind is to stop external forces flowing in and distorting our flow but before that would happen then we must be able to discern reality from circumstances. We should be able to separate fuel from water, and know where both fit in, the functionality of our mind is hinged on what we allow in, the knowledge we are exposed to and the company we keep. We cannot rise above what we know, so the filter is important in shaping our reality and that in turn would determine our circumstance.

Always ask yourself, what is real? How do you create what you call real?  How far can you go to determine your reality? Knowing the answers to these simple questions creates an heightened sense of awareness, of who you are, your environment and even what you allow to influence your thoughts and actions, see your carburetor can distinguish between water and fuel but your filter cannot because it not designed to know the difference and the reason you are stuck is because you are running on the wrong substance, You cannot run on water, you need fuel to power your engine, that is your reality. Optimism cannot turn water to fuel, that is your perceived reality, that is you wishing that the conditions were different. Controlling your filter is the key to changing your conditions. It is the key to creating a better life for you.

“The chances we miss are the ones that we didn’t take” - 

In about seven days I would be a year older so for the past few days, I have been taking stock,

Your choice is predetermined by what you know, and change is a product of your choice invariably, the chances we take are a reflection of what we know. Truth is our intentions must be backed up by deliberate actions, Nothing happens by chance, we choose daily, whether we know it or not. I, personally believe that our first responsibility in life is to take responsibility because it is only when we do that that we can clearly see who to blame and who to praise for our failures and victories.

We will continue to bite our nails until we come to that point of self-awareness, where we take responsibility for the things that directly concerns us, Chances would always come but the man who sees it is the man who wants it more, the man who responds to his ability.

Life is a level playing field but a few people have learned to tilt it in their favor and honestly, it as a result of deliberate mastery of life and of self. People who have come to understand themselves are always in sync with the world around them and those are the ones who always get ahead and never miss a chance but the other lots are concerned with playing the blame game than following through on their pursuit of self-awareness.

The most common quote of philosophy is “Man know thyself”. When you think of it, you will actually realize that success begins with awareness of oneself and the gifting that you possess. When we understand this simple truth we begin to move in sync with life. Again, Life responds to us based on what we know. If you don’t know what a car looks like there is no amount of description that I would give that would give you a perfect visual understanding of a car.

The chances that will bring your desired change will always be the ones you take, it’s not far-fetched and if you think slowly just for a moment you will see that it’s what you are experiencing. You control the conditions of your life. But until you become aware of these facts you will never come to that consciousness. You must begin to see your life as a change project, that’s how you move forward. Stop dreaming for a moment and start looking for opportunities for and to change. Dreams are raw materials and when we act we are putting the materials to use and that’s how we create our life and future.

Be deliberate, be constant, be true to yourself, the chances you make will always be the chances that you take.