The End of a life is not exactly as important as the depth of that life. The reason why we cry when we lose someone to death, is mostly because of the finality of death. Death puts life in perspective, Death gives us a better understanding of how best we are to live.

When we lose someone, our first thoughts are probably, how we wish we had spent more time with them or done more for them or created more memories with them, and these because with death, every chance fades.

Now, some of us, transfer the feeling of wanting to do more and then become better to the people that are with us, while some do this out of guilt or a misguided sense of remorse, others just simply, crawl into a dark hole and spend every moment digging deeper, now this is because, Death leaves a void, an emptiness that even time cannot fill.

When people are faced with losing a loved one or a close one, I subscribe to the fact that we are to let them mourn anyways they feel they want to. If you lose a friend suddenly, it changes your paradigm, it shakes your world, like literally, leaves you doubting the entire reason for existence, now that feeling might linger and sometimes with the passing of time, we get to adjust and leave with the void, but never should anyone make you feel like your hurt is not valid.

Most of us, are afraid to talk about death, we are afraid to have a conversation about the very thing that reaches us how to live, how to love and how to connect. Death is our friend; it is what makes TIME IMPORTANT.

Even our Christian faith is hinged on death, and to enjoy the benefit of the salvation that Christ brings, you must identify with the death, which is symbolic with baptism. I can go on and on about the benefit and the beauty of death but too many of us are too sensitive to the reality.

Life is flirting, Time is an illusion and when we come to terms with death then it is easier for us to live with intent, to find purpose in everything we do. The circle of life implies that when one dies, another is born, and when we accept that we become one with life and one with the world around us.

When you conquer the fear of death, we gain the confidence we need to live, to win and to thrive.

Dear Me,

I am writing this today as a reminder of where we are and what we are passing through. I woke up and realized that everything was blur and I was sinking but in this state I am reminded that Pain demands to be felt.

“Whatever my lot, grace has taught me to say, it is well in the deepest confines of my soul” see that will always be our confession despite the odds. *smiles* It has been a tough year this, but when you look back at it, you will realize that it will make for a good story, the scars, the turns and the lows.

Someone said to me, “ You are like the strongest person I know..” and in my heart I smiled and I went into a monologue as to how my strength was basically a function of trust, I am not sure I have the ability to worry too much especially when I am aware that worry would not change anything. Strength for me is learning to rely on the orchestrator of my days and not how smart I think I am. I am evolving, when you read this, You will realize that we were only getting better for the life and living.

Another person asked, “How do you stay believing?” and I answered, I don’t know really but all I can say is I have a deep seated conviction in the wisdom of our maker that even if I can’t trace his hands, I can trust his plan. Sometimes stuff doesn’t make sense but that doesn’t mean He is unaware, always remember, Roman 8 vs 28… All things not some things, not a few things, not major events not minor details, ALL THINGS work for the good of them .

Life must be lived on the corridor of faith, even the unbelieving have faith, even the atheist have faith, faith that whatever supplies breath would be there when they wake up every day. But my faith is hinged on the unshakable promise that He who holds my days wastes nothing, not even my dark days. There is purpose to my pain.

I wrote this because, I know dark days will come again but I need you to remember where you have been. All we have carried consistently is hope, Hope that no matter what happens there is victory for us, always.

As always, be a shoulder for someone to lean on, light the way so others would not stumble in darkness, love selflessly that is the only way to be a beacon in an already vengeful world, forgive quickly, every offence is forgivable never give a justifiable reason for grudge. Continue to live with intent, whatever you heart desires, go for it. Don’t forget that you are living right here and right now.

I have found safety in the knowledge that we will be fine, always.

Remember to always say “THANK YOU, the world owes you nothing so be grateful when a door opens for you, be eternally grateful when someone shows you kindness no matter how small and when you can return the favor, help someone else.

Thrive!! We always win.

                                                                                                                                                                  

What would happen if you would get out of your way? What would happen if you dare to just stop feeling sorry for yourself? What would happen if you stopped judging yourself? What would happen if you dared to live? Here is the answer, A LOT WILL CHANGE!!!

There is a difference between self appraisal and self pity, there is a very big margin between taking control of your life and making comparison with the many characters you have made up in your head. Sometimes you are the reason for your sadness, you are the reason why you cannot get ahead and you are most likely the reason why everybody thinks of you the way they do.

It’s great to have goals, to have time bound and achievable goals, in fact the bedrock of success is goal setting but what happens when life plays you? What happens when your expectations does not match your reality?

See, the aim of your being, is to be better, not to run yourself down; and being better is a process of becoming, it not a process of “been”.  We are called Human being for the particular reason that we are constantly evolving, coming into new dimensions of our abilities and knowledge of who we are, who we want to be and who we can be.

I always advocate that you take time to evaluate your goals, to be candid with yourself but I also emphasize that “don’t start a pity party”, don’t dive into self created depression, you will wreck your own happiness. If at any point your goals are derailed, see it as a learning curve; take time to revisit your plans.

Remember, though the goal remains the same, our plans must be flexible enough to change. Plans are the processes. It is not the destination. If your GPS is faulty you don’t sell the car, you find alternate way to locate your destination.  You must seek new knowledge daily; suffice to say “Knowledge is powerful”. A man who is fully aware of himself walks with a spring in his step, never bent over simply because, knowledge is steroids.

And most importantly, work hard, work smart and work effectively and efficiently. You can only judge yourself when you have taken actions not by intentions. Success gravitates to the person who acts, not the person who stays wishing.

Get out of your own way, Get out of your head, Get out of your mind, stop being your own obstacle. It’s okay to fail sometimes, it is okay to feel inadequate sometimes but those feelings should be fuel for you, they should become your motivation, your low point should be the point where it changes, where you must seek to take actions, deliberate actions to be a better you, not perfect but better.

I will continue later.

I have been gleaning and pondering over a few life lessons for a while now and I may share a few. Life teaches us. This is basically the most constant of all truths, sometimes we are patient enough to learn and some other time, we are just too much in a hurry to learn so we get burnt.

Religion I have come to know is an escape rout from reality, religious people are too afraid to talk about the most glaring things, like death, like failure, like depression and anxiety, they would rather wave it away with “it is well or God knows best” than seek clarity.

Life is filled with death defying moments, I know this because I have been there, I have stared death in the face and I have lived and I have spent time learning to question, to ask, to seek direction to be both spiritually and mentally aware, I do not leave my life to “Just” prayers and confession, I have learned to be self aware to decide the course of my life and the things I claim to believe.

Does everything make sense? No..

Will you always be happy? No

Will you feel a sense of purposelessness? Yes

Will life overwhelm you sometimes? Yes

Will you always have answers? NO

Life is a hard school, it knocks you down so bad that you will almost rather not get up but here is the thing, Hold the light, hold your light, fuck fear and just do what your heart yearns for. It will not always make sense, it will not always be well but what we become is that we most choose to ask questions, to seek direction and to desire to be more aware of who we are and not what we are told.

I use to wonder why majority of us look forward to the end of a movie when the credits begin to roll. We look out for the name of our favorite character and sometimes we go further to search other movies he/she has featured in just so we can watch them to validate his/her “awesomeness”. To some the credit is almost the most anticipated part, you get to just see the many people who worked together to make the movie a masterpiece.

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See, life is almost like that credit scene at the end of the movie, but with Life we do not have to get to the end before we show or express gratitude. GRATITUDE IS A STRONG VIBE, people can feel when appreciation is sincere.

The stunt guy who doubles for your favorite character might not be a star but He definitely guarantees the success of the movie, without him, your favorite character is incomplete. In your life there are those people who work tirelessly to ensure that you succeed. There are people consistently devoted to your cause and will stop at nothing to see you succeed.

When you realize that your life is a sum total of other people’s involvement in your story,  GRATITUDE BECOMES MOTIVATION. Hence gratitude in itself is self motivation. Grateful people have an inward drive, their push is not based on aligning conditions but they live and move with a sense of purpose and intent.

GRATITUDE IS DRIVE…

Gratitude teaches us what matters, see just as the credits in a movie shows us who matters, who played what role, when we are grateful we carry a sense of depth, we begin to see that every small act of kindness matters because in the long run, it will define how we see life.

GRATITUDE IS A GIFT THAT MUST BE SHARED. Live better; give credits to everyone who comes your way. The good, the bad and the not so good are all part of the building block of life.

Say thank you every chance you get, Gratitude is a seed and just like every seed, it will produce in its time.